What NOT to Do When Going Through a Divorce

November 18, 2015

If you have gotten to the point where you have decided to call it quits on your marriage, you may be thinking about where you’ve gone wrong. You are likely also thinking about what your spouse did to cause the split. In fact, you may actually be thinking “can it get any worse.”

Divorce is a complex process that requires a person to draw on every ounce of strength they have — both physically and mentally. Emotions are flying high during this time; this is especially true if you have children.

It may seem like everywhere you look there’s a possible landmine waiting to explode if you don’t make the right decision or say the right thing. It’s important to know that knowledge is power. You can’t shy away from the upsetting realities of divorce and you must do everything possible to protect yourself and your children going forward.

It’s not a foolproof process. There is no exact science when it comes to getting divorced. However, it is possible to identify what you should avoid doing during this stressful time. Here are some tips for taking control of your situation.

  1. Don’t think your soon-to-be-ex has your best interests in mind. This isn’t to say they don’t care about your well-being on some level. However, divorce, unfortunately, is an “every man or woman for themselves” kind of endeavor. Through the process, when guided by an experienced family lawyer, you may be able to protect yourself and not necessarily hinder your spouse’s situation. But, at the end of the day, you are separating for a reason. You have to be No. 1 now.

  2. Don’t make make decisions without your children’s best interest in mind. They didn’t ask for the divorce. They likely would rather it wasn’t happening. However, while divorce is an adult topic, you must include your children in your thought processes. They will be affected by every single decision made — if not immediately, then at some time in the future. Additionally, you can help the kids understand what’s happening by talking to them often and trying to explain at a level they can understand. Obviously, a five year old will interpret what’s going on far differently than a 15 year old.

  3. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can do this without legal representation. This is a DIY world we are living in. There’s an app — and template — for everything. The divorce process is no exception. Can you get through the divorce process on your own? Yes. Should you? No. A skilled and knowledgeable lawyer can put their experience to work for you in many ways. They are looking out for you legally and financially. They are being paid to make sure that every question is asked, and every decision made is in your best interest. This is a pay-for-it now or pay-for-it later situation. And, unfortunately, some things decided in divorce are not easily “undone.” Do it the right way the first time around.

If you are thinking about getting divorced, don’t go it alone.

Contact Jonathan Katz Esq. today for a free consultation about your personal situation. He can discuss mediation and other time and cost-saving options to help you get through your divorce as easily as possible.

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